It is a journey, people, not a race

So many times as I read other postings it is like everyone is running a race to see who can bring their child home the fastest and at the youngest age. Well folks, it is not a race, it is journey.

It is a journey from who you were before your started this process to who you will be after the process ends. In my case, I started as a single female, no kids, 2 cats, 1 house. I will end as a single female, 0 cats (died due to cancer), 1 house- but most importantly to me, I will be a momma to the Little Bug!!! I started this process working at one job (hated it), am now working at another job (loving it). I started thinking I would bring home a baby, I will end bring home a toddler. A toddler with personality -see the new picture of the Little Bug in action above.

The journey is not about who finishes first, but what did you learn. I have learned that my grief over the process will help the Little Bug grieve over who he was and who he will be come- he has no idea that he is on this journey. His entire world is going to shift in 1 day without any preparation. I say that knowing that I have visited 2x, that I have left/sent pictures, tapes, and DVDs of me- but I am still a stranger and his foster family is his family and how do you prepare a toddler for that change? There is nothing for him to compare back to, nothing for him to refer to that will help this shift in his life. The only thing that is going to help him is the knowledge that I have gained through my journey.

I do not anticpate an easy transition, in fact I am planning on a very difficult transition. I know there will be greiving, I know there will be sleepness nights, I know there is still a long road ahead until we are finally Little Bug and Momma Bug- a family. But I know that people are praying for us, I know that I am praying for this and I know that we will get through this because slow and steady is the way to finish the journey and God is walking along with us, carrying me in the time when I can't walk the journey anymore and he will carry the Little Bug when he can't walk the journey, but together we will walk together toward the end - of being a family, stronger for what we have experienced, richer for the people we have met, and committed because we took the time and lived the journey,because we did not race through it just to get to the other side.

This post is for all of my friends who are on the journey- the very long journey. May each of you gain strength from the journey and the people meet along the way. May you be carried when you need to be carried, may you be comforted when you need it, may you give comfort when others need it and may you carry another burdens on days when the journey seems so long. You are each a blessing, a precious gift from God. I am honored to walk this journey with each of you.

Momma Bug