2 years ago today

2 years ago, I sat in Guatemala, holding Bug for the last time on the visit. We were heading out to Antigua with Carlos, Mireya, Susi and Andrea. I knew the moment he saw them, he would not want me again and so I held him, knowing I was giving him back to them. Not knowing when I would see him again. The adoption process that was supposed to take 4-6 months was already at 9 months and little did I know that there was still 6 more months to go before I would hold Bug again and never have to say good bye again.

Today, our bags are almost packed- just a few more things to add in the suitcases and we are ready to head back to Guatemala in the morning. I am so excited to be going back. I love being in Guatemala. I suppose it must be different to actually live there, but I love going to visit. We will be hanging out at the hotel, enjoying the warm weather and sunshine. We will be spending time with friends and family. This will be the longest time we have ever been in Guatemala together. I can't wait.

But at the same time, I am nervous. I know that Bug is very anxious about this visit. he keeps talking about a bad man taking him. I have been reassuring him that Momma will hurt anyone who tries to take him away from me. That there is no bad man who can stand against momma and he is always safe with me. I know too that he is anxious about seeing Carlos and Mireya. I have given Bug permission to not talk to them the first day we see them- this gives him ownership in his actions- he knows that he will not be forced to talk, but he can talk if he wants. I am praying he decides to talk. I am taking lots of his favorite toys to encourage him to talk but I realize that the first meeting maybe very hard. I am hopefully that multiple days with the family will help Bug relax and enjoy the visit.

If we have time and the inclination, we might go to the children's museum, the textile museum and the relief map. All are near the zoo (I think). these would be a nice way to break up the day and to stay close to the hotel but still get out of the hotel. No trips out of the city this time, but maybe next time we come.

This will be my last post from the US- I hope to post tomorrow night from our hotel room in Guatemala.

Love and hugs to you all,

Deb