Another Thursday in our house

No pictures from today- Little Bug and I just hung together doing simple stuff. We got our hair cut (yes, his curls are still there), we had dinner at Chipotle which was sad because Little Bug refused to eat the food, other than chips. He used to love the food. I do think there was too much cilantro in the rice and too much lime or lemon juice in the salsa, so hopefully next time the food will be back to normal. But he would not even eat the Guacamole and he loved it when he first came home. After dinner, we came home and played outside since the weather cooled off - that is so strange to say given that it was in the upper 80s (not the upper 90s we have had lately). There was a nice cooling wind too. Little Bug ran up and down the sidewalk, pushed his tractor, chased M (neighbor) and basically had a great time. He came in, had a bath and bottle and was asleep before I put in him in the crib. I of course did not have my camera for these activities- I was busy playing too.

So, I leave you with pictures from August 11th. We went to the park and they have a ban converted into a play area. In the loft, they had all these farm bells for the kids to play with. I leave you with Little Bug trying to figure out how the bells all work.
Finally, one he understood. Of course he could barely reach it.
This is the pre-birthday boy letting me know that it was far too hot for him to walk and he needed me to pick him up and carry him.
And finally, a pre-birthday fun evening. Also could be titled," they look like eggs, we just spend the day at the farm, let me pretend to be a chicken and sit on this orange egg". I was shocked he did not pop a single balloon. He must have sat on the balloons over and over, laughing the entire time. Balloons are apparently easy toddler entertainment.
Tomorrow evening starts the holiday weekend. Not sure what the Little Bug and I are going to do, but thankfully, the weather is supposed to stay cool. I am considering a trip to the aquarium or to the zoo.

Love to you,
Momma Bug

OK, OK, pictures for you all

OK- I hear you guys!!! So on to the pictures and then more news.


Little Bug sacked out from playtime with MK2 and Y. We stayed passed his nap time and this is what happened 2 minutes into the car ride home. Getting Ms at Pap's house. Pap is teaching him to put the penny in the machine and turn the handle to get candy. Note, Pap was quite upset the first time they tried this and I said NO. We were going to eat and I know that Little Bug has a small stomach some days. But occasional, he can have Ms from Pap's candy machine.
Sitting in Pap's chair- it does not look like it, but if Little Bug stood up, he would not be taller than the back of the chair. The chair has a name- MONSTER. I sit in it and can't even touch the floor.
Eating in the sunlight. I don't like the expression- he was telling me NO but I love the way the sunlight is coming through his hair. He was telling me NO for a question I asked, NO is his favorite answer- he tells me NO for everything and I am not sure he understands what he is saying, he just likes the word.

Being silly at the store.
This is my smooth operator in action- get the girl's attention
arm around the neck so she can't get away- in for the kiss. She never stood a chance against this kid's plan.
A view from the other side. MK2 did not know what hit her- he kept giving her kisses.

News for Mireya and family- Monday is a holiday here in the US- Little Bug and I will be calling during the day on Monday to wish Momi Mireya a very happy birthday!!!

Other news:

I had my first foster/adoption class tonight. It was the same orientation class I took 2 years- almost to the day- I am going to have pull out my card from then and check dates, but I think I am exactly 2 years from my previous classes. The same foster/adoptive parent is teaching the class- Theresa. It was good to see a familiar face. I have to say, the class was same, but I was very different. I was in tears many times- Little Bug's adoption has changed me so much. I really get what is being said- it is real to me, not just a fact or concept to be stored away. When Theresa talked about having a child moved to adoptive home after she fostered, I understood the toll that takes, when she talked about the history that a child brings with them, I got it. When we watched a movie about a boy who was in 38 placements (foster homes, group homes and hospital facilities) in 13 years of life, I really got the emotional impact that those moved had on him and his desire to just go home, to be with those who loved him best of all. The young man kiled himsefl from the pain of just wanted to be with his siblings (there were 8 of them and being seperated from them). All he wanted was his family. While I got the facts the first time, and was angry for what this young man went through, this time it was so overwhelming. I knew that Little Bug would change me, the process would change me. I am so grateful for Little Bug's first family, who knowing that adoption was the plan from day 1, opened their hearts and home to him. I want to be able to give a child enough love, that should the child be reunited with their parents, that they can say without a doubt " I was loved while I was in care". People say love does not fix everything, but I say it fixes more than we will ever know.

Well, I am off to bed- it has been a long day. Hopefully I will get some good pictures of Little Bug tomorrow- I think we are going to do something special for just us.

Love to you,

Momma Bug

No pictures- sorry

My batteries are dying my camera and I can not get the pictures to load from the camera to my computer. I will get batteries while I am at lunch on Monday and post pictures- I promise.

Little Bug had a good weekend- Yesterday he got to play with MK2 and Y. He did not bite either of them- which is great. I think he might have hugged MK2 a little to much for her liking, but she survived. To E and A- you must come for a visit, Little Bug was kissing MK2 every chance he got - it was cute. But, E needs some time with Little Bug so he can practice kissing her. It was precious- I did get pictures.

Today, Uncle D drive up from his house and gave Little Bug a Tony Stewart racing car - we love Tony Stewart and Home Depot. I was shocked, Uncle D is a Jeff Gordon fan. We also looked at the JC Penny catalogue. I am starting to thinking about decorating Little Bug's room in an appropriate toddler theme- right now it is just painted cream and green- nothing themed. I really don't like anything I am seeing in the catalogue. I am starting a new quilt for him and I want the quilt to be the center piece of the room- but there is no theme to the quilt- it is a 100 good wishes quilt. There are some many different fabrics that came in with the wishes, some are even PINK!! My mom says I should not even worry until sometime in the summer of 2008 because that will be when Little Bug finally gets a Big boy bed. I hate to tell her, he will be out of the crib by Christmas- he almost has it figured out on how to climb out. He practices climbing into the bed.

Well, that is all for tonight- look for pictures tomorrow.

Love to you,
Momma Bug

Pick up trip or something else?

No pictures tonight- there will be some tomorrow- Uncle D. is coming into town and he is bringing the Little Bug a belated birthday present.


So, on to another thing that has been rolling around in my brain for a while. In the adoption proces, the trip to go and bring home your child is called "the pick up trip". I intensely dislike this term. Having worked in retail for a large number of years, it reminds me too much of picking up an item at the store. Little Bug is not a commodity, he is not some item that I was going to get, like "I am going to the store to pick up some milk". He is a person, a pecious gift, a wonderful child, more precious than all the money in the world, he is a blessing.
When a parent goes to the hospital to bring home a child and wife (assuming that this is a couple), the person driving does not say " I am going to the hospital to pick up my child and wife", they do not say, years later, "I went to the hospital to pick you up" when talking to their child, they say "We brought you home", or " I am going to the hospital to bring home my child". Why is it any different for those of us adopting. We are going to (insert country) to bring home our child, not to "pick up our child".
I have decided to call the trip, "our homecoming trip". Little Bug was coming home to our house (no my house, our house).
There is more behind this, but I can't quite articulate what I am thinking- so I will sort of lay it out. A "homecoming" allows for all emotions to be present- there is happiness at the new life, sadness for what was left behind, anxiety for the unknown, peace at was known, joy in discovery, grief in parting, etc. A "homescoming" is so much richer than a "pick up trip", it is so much more encompassing for everyone involved.
On 01Jun2007, Little Bug and I came home from our homecoming trip- a trip that started 16Aug2005 and was, in the fact, the last step in the homecoming trip, but the first step in our life as a family.

Welcome home Little Bug, Welcome Home!!!

Love to you,
Momma Bug

Pictures and some news

OK, Pictures from the last week or so.

This one is titled: Look Momma, I can walk up and down the front steps with no hands!!! he was up and down the stairs for at least 10 minutes. You can also see the very brown, possibly dead grass from my front yard. We are in drought conditions here- temperatures up in 90-100 degree range and basically no rain for the last month (I think we have gotten maybe an inch of rain). I try to water the flowers, but they are feeling the pain of no rain too. The grass, I never water- grass is designed to go dormant in this type of weather and I refuse to waste a precious resource (water) on stuff I would prefer to get rid of anyway. This is Little Bug sweeping the floor- he likes this, every time I get it out, he wants to do the sweeping. Of course after he loses interest, I have to sweep the floors. This is another chore he will be taking on in the house in a few years.
This is dinner- please note the rice (uneaten), the chicken (barely eaten), the Ranch dressing originally for his carrots (totally eaten). Did he eat the carrots- no, they were pushed onto the floor. So you ask, what did he eat the ranch dressing with? Well, he ate it straight off his fingers and the few tomatoes that he decide were not too bad.
As he was eating the tomatoes and ranch dressing, he decided that his hair needed some conditioning with the ranch dressing, he also decided that his arms and shirt needed ranch dressing. Which of course lead to...
A bath!!! He finally figured out how to make the squirts work. He understood from day one that pressing on them, got him a squirt, but he had the hardest time figuring out how to fill the squirters back up. He got it suddenly!! He was so happy.
Nothing else going on with Little Bug. I have decided though (not the news from the title of this post) that I will not be joining choir this season. Little Bug has had a complete reversal of his bedtime habits since his babysitter has been over getting to know him the last few nights. She was going to be with him for about 2.5 hours one night a week. So I had her come over and hang out with us for that time that she would have been here had I gone to choir. Little Bug screamed when I put him in bed, he cried for a long time and I had to go back in over and over to calm him down, then he was waking up about 1-2 hours screaming for me. I think the situation reminded him of the last week in Guatemala. I will not traumatize him just so I can go to choir. So maybe after Christmas, I can rejoin choir. He will have been home for 6 months at that point, so hopefully and God willing, he will feel more secure. He needs me to be here for him and that it my job as his momma.

So the news: but first some background. Before I started on the path to international adoption, I read a book "Adopting on your own: a Single's guide to adoption" by Lee Varon (excellent book). She recommends that during the time you are considering adoption, you take the free classes in your state that would allow you to be a foster/adoptive parent through the foster care system in the US. Well, I took all the classes, did the home study and realized that I could not foster a child for up to 2 years in my home and then watch them leave my home to go to their parents. I was just not strong enough for that. But GOD has a way of showing us that we are stronger than we think and what we think is impossible is not.
So as I watched Little Bug's first family parent him and then learned that they parented him all his life (21.5 months), I realized that I could be strong enough, that GOD's grace is sufficient and he will give me strength to love a child and let them go if that is the plan. It may be painful, but anything worth having in life is worth the pain.
So this week I contacted my county foster care system and found out that my house study with them was written so I can only be an adoptive parent through the foster care system. If I want to foster, and I do, I have to take 20 hours of classes (the same ones I took in 2005), have another home study done (3 visits and then 6 months for them to write and approve it), have my hoe inspected by the fire Marshall (the 2nd time), get letters of reference (for the 3rd time), have my entire life laid open for others to judge me (for the 3rd time), all to be given a license to be a foster parent. This will likely take 9 months start to finish and then I wait for a foster child that meets the needs of my family (Little Bug and me). I can not afford another international adoption (unless someone wants to give me money), I don't want an older child from foster care (GOD may lead me to another change of heart), but I was also told that Aidan is now the first born in the family and they do not recommend changing the birth order (there is some variance here, as they also stated that since he was the baby in his first family, an older child would be OK).
So that is the news, in another year, Little Bug and I could be welcoming another family member- even temporarily. I am open to GOD's leading and I am so grateful for the example of Little Bug's first family. GOD used them to show me what selfless love is like and to show me that the pain can be given back to him to carry.

Love to you,
Momma Bug

some stuff

OK, first of all, if you have not read Cheri's blog, please just take a few moments and go send her some encouragement. She is in Guatemala, under a lock down situation (for lack of a better word), she is sick, her baby is teething and she continues to see no movement on her case and is getting no support from her agency in resolving the issue.

Now on to me: my post from yesterday was 2 things:
1. a way for me to put all the pieces on the table and see them in the totality, not just piece meal- basically a way to organize the last 2 years so that I could begin to process it.
2. A note to myself that I could not continue to be all "joy-joy, happy, happy" about the process when I had serious doubts about things.

That said, I forgot something that I have learned over the years: There are 2 ways to react to a bad situation, you can say "something bad happened to me, what can I learn from it", or you can play the victim for the rest of your life.

I hate being the victim- it is such a powerless place- you get in this mindset that since you are the victim, everything in life should either pay you back for being the victim or is always pounding you back down because you are a victim.

A bad thing happened to me in my adoption- partly through my trust of people, and my willingness to not push for responses and answers. But, what have I learned?
1. I will never know Little Bug's full story- but that is not going to stop me from trying to learn as much as possible.
2. My lawyer sucks- it might be that he did not provide full disclosure for cultural reasons, it might be because of other reasons. but I will not deal with him again.
3. My agency has some blame- continuing to not address my concerns, continuing with business as usual with the lawyer. But, it could have been so much worse and hopefully, they are learning something from this too.
4. While I hate to say it, I probably trust people far too much, but I don't want to change that about me. I don't want to be a person who can't or doesn't trust people in every situation.
5. I need to speak up- as much as it not in my personality to say negative things, sometimes they need to be said- preferably earlier rather than later and hopefully in a positive way.
6. I need to support others who are dealing with the same issues.
7. I will not allow this experience to prevent me from adopting again.

What I will not say is " my son is home and nothing else matters". His story is at stake, his understanding of who is comes from who he was. The discrepancies in the story show that someone does not value the life he had before he came to me- THAT is a wrong assumption on their part. His entire life has value, his first family has value, his birth mother has value.

So, right now, at least for tonight, the past is past and tomorrow is a new day. I will not retract what I said yesterday, I am still looking for answers, but a bad thing happened to me in this process and I have learned something from it and I will continue to reflect on it and learn more lessons.


Pictures tomorrow for Little Bug's first family and a discussion of the term "pick-up trip".

Love to you,
Momma Bug

Pictures and some venting

I can't get the pictures rotated correctly- maybe someone out there knows how. These were taken by a friend from TX who stopped in to say hi. I love them because Little Bug and I are both smiling. Usually he is laughing away and when I pull out the camera, he stops or turns away. But, this time we were laughing together and she caught the joy. Thanks S, D, and B for stopping by and for taking and sending these pictures to me.



If you don't want to listen to me vent- stop here
*************************************************************************************
I have been thinking and thinking of a positive way to say what I want to say and I just can't figure out a way, so I am just going to lay it out there.

I am so upset with my agency and lawyer right now. So many little things have piled up through Little Bug's adoption and they have just reached the point that I can't take it, I can't remain positive and upbeat about certain behaviors/actions. It is costing me too much emotionally. So here is the story from my side (understanding full well there are 2 sides to every story).
March 2006
1. I got Little Bug's referral when he was 7.5 months old, in March 2006. At the time the average timeline for FTIA was 4-6 months from referral to pick up. So March to September, worse case scenario- a Christmas pick up trip, as I planned it out.
2. I was told that his birth mother made an adoption plan for him when he was almost 4 month old
3. Every document I have from his referral packet shows a December 2005 fax date- there are no signed and dated documents in my packet. (*)
4. When I asked for pictures from December to March- I was told there were none- the only pictures they had were the pictures from referral which were from December.
5. My referral packet indicated that Little Bug's birth mother was not from Guatemala- i questioned whether this would cause any delays and I was told NO.
May-September 2006
6. As the case started being delayed in Family court, I asked if my case was in Family Court 3- notoriously anti-adoption. I was told that NO case with FTIA goes through that court, the lawyers know how to avoid it.
7. After 12 weeks in FC (when others were in and out in under 4 weeks), I was told that the issue was the US embassy- that the birth mother's document were expired and they needed updated documents and her birth country was the delay reason for delay.
8. After 18 weeks, our case exited FC and we spent another 4 weeks in translation and then into PGN- according to what I was told, I had Pre-approval before entering PGN (this is a US embassy document).
Late October/Early November 2006
9. At week 8 in PGN, I started calling FTIA for an update. I was not given to my coordinator any of the 3 times I called and in fact one of the times, the phone was not placed on hold and I heard someone say "It is Deb Cole, what do I tell her, who can take her call."- huge RED flag.
10. I contacted SJI (adoption Supervisors ) that night for their take on my timeline.
11. I finally was told my coordinator was no longer with the program and that my lawyer said our case had been mistaken sent to investigations but it was resolved and I was going back into PGN the next week.
November 12th 2006
12. I hired SJI- they told me that Little Bug's birth mother had given birth to a second son and she had denounced the adoption and that our file was pulled mistakenly and we were still in investigations. They also indicated that I was in PGN before the date indicated by the lawyer based on my case number. The indicate that the file was almost immediately in investigations- not under review in PGN.
13. December 6th, SJI reports that the judge in investigations has signed off and our case is going back to PGN. Lawyer has told FTIA that I was back in PGN as of October- they go with that info.
14. December 12, our file is back on the reviewers desk in PGN
15. December 13, she kicks out because the judge did not provide the document indicating the resolution of the investigation. She leaves for Christmas vacation.
16. FTIA lets me know that I am back in PGN as of Decmber 15th. I ask for the Kick out date- no response. I then provide all the emails from SJI showing that the case has been in investigations since Sept/Oct 2006. I ask that the December 15th date be removed from my adoption tracker since I know I am dealing with a KO and there is no way the case is with the reviewer. No action taken.
17. I visit Little Bug December 27-December 31. During the visit, I see some potential medical issues and once home and having confirmed with an International Adoption Doctor, I ask that my concerns be followed up by some blood work and an exam. The exam is done- everything is fine. I am told the blood work was done and is fine, but I never see the results from the testing.
January 2007-March2007
18. The judge who needs to sign the document so the file can be put back in PGN is on a 2.5 month vacation. She did not sign the document before she left, there is no one who can sign for her. I sit waiting while my lawyer continues to tell FTIA that I am in PGN with the file being reviewed. I continue to tell my coordinator that his info is not true and I ask repeatedly to have the December 15 date removed.
During this time, I begin to wonder if the adoption will ever complete- if it doesn't what will become of Little Bug? I know that he could be taken to an orphanage, I wonder if his first family would adopt him? I never ask, for fear that they will indicate that they were just waiting for him to never be referred (some sort of waiting period)- I don't know what process there is. I still will not ask- to scared to know the truth, but knowing that they love him with every fiber of their being and no one would have allowed him to go to an orphanage.
March 1, 2007
19. The judge signs the document and the case is resubmitted to PGN
20. March 6th, case back on the reviewer's desk. lawyer tells FTIA that we are back in pGN. Again I ask for the KO date since he has been telling them that I was back in PGN since December 15, 2006. No response.
21. Mid March, SJI tells me that the case has been signed by the first reviewer and it is now in Mr. Barrios' office (the director of PGN)
22. April 23, FTIA calls to tell me that my case was signed off by PGN and the adoption is approved. I email SJI immediately, I will not believe it until they confirm it. The confirmation comes later that morning.
May 28- June 1, 2007
23. Arrive for pick up, Little Bug's first family is disrespected in front of me, my mom and the agency staff by the lawyer's associate. I am given the pick up packet that indicates that Little Bug has been with his first family since he was 1 day old, not 4 months old like I was lead to believe at referral. Overwhelmed with the information and let it go while I am in Guatemala.
24. Mid June, 2 weeks after arriving home, contact FTIA will my concerns and the basic line of issues- like here. I am told that someone will follow up.

25. Late July- ask about my issues at the FTIA reunion picnic, I am told by the former program director "your coordinator did not always know what she was talking about, you can't believe everything she told you". yes, you read that statement correctly- I don't think there is anything I need to say here- it is just unbelievable.

26. Mid August- receive an email from the current program director that she will get with me at the end of the week about my concerns, she has been helping families with medical concerns and processes that have gone on a long time. She never gets back to me. I want to say to her- I was the family with medical concerns, I still have never received results on my questions, I was the family in process- 3x longer than the average time when I started- no one cared then.
I feel like I am being told- "your son is home, why are you asking these questions- let it go".

Well, I can't let it go, the lawyer was not honest about the case, FTIA had documentation in December that what he was saying was not in agreement with other information- no one pushed for information. They knew my understanding of Little Bug's first few months- I had posted it multiple times over the course of the process on the agency's board when talking to other families- they should have corrected me. If the coordinator I had was known to not give accurate information, then when she left, an effort should have been made to contact the families and determine what information they had that was not correct. More importantly, they should have addressed the issue of incorrect information long and I never should have been told what I was told at the picnic- because I certainly have no confidence in any information that I get now. I had to hire SJI during the process and I ma preparing to hire some more help to get additional answers. I never should have had to do this. With the caliber and reputation of FTIA, the moment I had concerns, they should have been addressed. I have lost all faith that I will ever get a straight answer from them in regards to the information from the lawyer. I have lost faith in FTIA. If I had the money to pursue another international adoption, I would be very hesitant to work with FTIA, and I most definitely would never accept a referral from my lawyer.
I feel like such an idiot, I championed this lawyer on FTIA's board, I gave him the benefit of the doubt when things came up. I hurt for the families that I recommended the lawyer to when they asked for other's opinion of him. I feel very used and I feel very tired of this whole thing. All I want right now is my complete file from the lawyer, untranslated. Every document, every slip of paper from FC, the embassy, PGN and investigations. I just want to be able to put the pieces together so that when Little Bug asks for his story, I can tell him the truth, I can tell him the story of his life and his adoption, without having to say that there are 2 versions, that one person knows the truth and he will not share it (the lawyer). I want to walk away from FTIA and never have to deal with anyone in the home office again. I hurt for my lost faith and for a little boy whose story is hidden by agendas and egos.

* I reviewed the referral packet again this week, there was one untranslated document (the agreement with Mireya, the lawyer and Little Bug's birth mother) that has a written out date of "sixteenth August two thousand and five". Easy to miss when you don't speak Spanish and your high school Spanish was 20 years ago. It is the only reference to Little Bug's birth mother making an adoption plan right after he was born.


Well, I have let it all out, maybe now I can let it all go and come to terms with the last 2 years.

Love to you,
Momma Bug

Cheri needs some support

Dear all,

Nothing on Little Bug tonight- just take some time and read Cheri's post (on the sidebar), she needs some support. Please Pray for her and the situation she is in.


Love to you,
Momma Bug

Pictures from the last week

Pictures from this week.


Lunch today- I gave up on the BRAT diet for Little Bug- he was starving for real food. He had goldfish pretzels, Ham and cheese on a wheat tortilla and a banana- he threw the banana on the floor- I guess that says it all in terms of his approval of the BRAT diet.

As a side note- I think the bananas did their job a little too good. We'll see tomorrow. Little Bug decided that he had to wear shades today- I guess he was too cool for his life!!
He thought it was funny that I stood up on the chair to get this picture. He was laughing at me for the rest of the meal.
Monday or Tuesday night- even in the heat- we headed out on the tractor. He loves this toy. I might resell his Cadillac.

Just a precious face
Waving to a car going by. He loves to wave.
OK- call me silly- but I took a picture of Little Bug at the doctor's on Thursday. He was climbing up on the examination table and lifting his shirt (that is until the doctor came in- then he was on my lap and not cooperating with the doctor.
He got a present on Thursday from our friend "bugling". Little Bug loved the envelop.
Then he saw the gift card inside and he loved that. There was a bug stuff animal in the package and he really ignored it. I put it up for safe keeping- he will decide at some point that it is cool or worthy of being run over by the tractor. In any case, he will play with it.
Those are the pictures from this week.

Love to you,

Momma Bug

On the mend (I think)

I will post some pictures this evening. Right now, thought, Little Bug appears to be doing better. He is taking his afternoon nap.
We had professional pictures taken this morning- I spent way too much. I think I am going to cancel some of the pictures and get one that I really wanted, but decided not to get because of the price. He did great. We were the first appointment and even though he was sceptical, he hung in there and smiled for the pictures. Unfortunately, the email link to the pictures will not be ready until the end of August- at that point, I can still order more pictures. So Mireya, Carlos, and family, please look for that email with the information on how to view the pictures. I would like you to choose a pose that you like the best and I will have the picture shipped to you.

I am still amazed that he now says "Bless you". It is wonderful thing. I know that it is a throw away phrase for most people, but for me, it means that my words and actions are influencing his life. I will be talking to some good friends about being a positive Christian example for my son- so often children see our deeds more than they hear our words. I want my deeds to point him to Christ and life that is glorifying to God. I know I can not do this alone, there will be so many more people that point him to Christ as he grows up, but I never want our home to be out of step with the Christian life.

I have to go- I might try to nap a little before Little Bug wakes up from his nap.

Look for pictures tonight.

Love to you,
Momma Bug

Little Bug is still sick

No pictures- he is still suffering from intestinal problems. Although he is eating fine and palying very hard. I am hoping it was just something that needs time to work out of his system.

I had one of the coolest momma moments yesterday. Whenever he sneezes, I say "God Bless you". Well, I sneezed and he said "es you" which translated is "bless you". We then played the game where I pretend to sneeze and he kept saying it over and over to me. It was a precious moment.
Today, I took him to the store to buy more bananas- he ate 4 of them int eh last 2 days (2 for dinner last night and 2 for breakfast). While we were at the store, he had a coughing fit and his face turned red- I kept asking him "are you OK?", so now he is asking me "OK? es you" when I pretend to sneeze or pretend to cough.

Tomorrow we have professional pictures being taken. I hope that he is well for the pictures.

Love to you,
Momma Bug

Little Bug is sick-

Welcome to the world of being a parent- I got a call at 12:30 from Little Bug's Daycare provider. he was complaining that his tummy had a boo-boo and then he had a very messy (explosive was the word she used) diaper.

One trip to the doctor's office to find out that he likely has a virus- I have to watch him through the weekend. He is not allowed milk products (this should be fun tonight when he wants his TU) and I should not give fruit juice. So he is now on the BRAT diet- Banannas, Rice, Applesauce (I think) and Toast. I sure he will love me for this new diet.

He is sleeping now and I am trying to get some things done. Please pray that Little Bug gets well soon. I don't like this part of being a momma- I want to make it all better for him.

Love to you,
Momma Bug

Edited: 8 pm- Little Bug is back in bed. He took an hour nap after the doctor and then sat in my lap getting lots of love for most of the evening. He took the pedilyte in his TU without complaint!! He seems to be feeling better. He has eaten 2 banannas, 1 torilla, and one snack size container of oranges (yes, not on the BRAT diet, but he wanted it). I am hoping that he on the mend and will be fine in the morning.

Birthday- not so exciting

No pictures today. Little Bug and I had a normal day for us. He woke up at 5:30 am (this teething thing is killing my sleep) and we headed out to daycare at the normal time. He spent the day playing and hanging out with cousin J. On a side note: I have no idea what Little Bug is going to do next week when school starts and J. is gone for the day.
I picked Little Bug up from daycare a little early today just so we could have time to eat out and still get Little Bug home in time for bed. We ate at Applebees and the crew all came and sang to him when our dinner was over. I got that on video for Mireya and her family. We picked up pictures I had developed and attempted to get the video developed, but the machine was broken- so I have to go out at lunch tomorrow and get the video put on CD for Mireya and family.

Since Little Bug has been getting up long before he should- I decided to move his bedtime back to 8 pm. So we got home and played, read stories and had a TU. Little Bug really needed a bath, but he refused and I was not prepared to fight with him right before bed, so no bath tonight. He will get one tomorrow.

Tomorrow is another step in his life, his new babysitter is coming over to meet him. She will be watching him on Wednesday nights once choir starts at church in another couple of weeks. I felt it was better for him to have care in the house rather than go to child care at church on Wednesday nights. That way his schedule stays regular and he is in familiar surroundings. I will only be gone for 2 hours, so hopefully he will be OK. But we'll take it one week at a time. She will come over a few more times before choir starts just so Little Bug starts to like her.

Well, I am tired, this has been a longer week so far and I need sleep. So good night, sweet dreams and love to you all,
Momma Bug

Tomorrow is the official birthday- so a retrospective is in order

These are just some of my favorite photos of Little Bug from the last 2 years of his life.


This one was on a disposal camera that I sent to Mireya and which I got back after my visit trip in December. What a ham!!! From the same camera- my mom calls this photo "the duck". She said if Little Bug had a yellow hat on his head, he could have been a duck. I just like how sweet he looks.
This is from one of the cameras I got back when I brought Little Bug home.
This one was taken the day after Easter in 2006. I absolutely love how he is reaching for camera and how proud and happy Senor Carlos looks. I have this photo in a special place because I used to look at it and think that Little Bug was reaching for me (I know he was reaching for Karla or Miyera or Andrea or Suzi, but I had a little dream it was me he was reaching for). I love this picture and during the hardest times, I would pull this one out and wonder if we would ever be together as a family.
I love this one- it is Little Bug with S, before S came home in April of 2006. If you look closely you can see they are holding hands- they were on the journey to a new life together. I hope they hold on to the fact that they started out with the same loving family and that they forever have that bond.
This is my favorite photo from the pictures I got at referral. So much life, so much happiness. Little Bug was 4 months old. Little did I know that he actually came to Mireya and her family before December- but that is another post.

Mireya and her family were kind enough to go back through their pictures and find pictures of Little Bug before December. These are some of the pictures of a very tiny bug, when he first came into their home.
Another from before December 2005
Another from before December 2005.
And finally- my little model. He is more then I ever dreamed he would be and I hope that I can be a good Momma to him. Tomorrow- we are going out for dinner after I am done with work just to celebrate his life.

Little Bug is a blessing to me and I want to be worthy of the gift of his life.

Love to you,

Momma Bug

More photos from the birthday bash

Here are some more pictures from the birthday fiesta.


For Mireya, Carlos, Suzy, Karla and Andrea- in the pool- S., D., and Little Bug along with Y who was total being pushed out of the way by the boys. We are just missing C and we could have had all the boys you fostered in one location for a group photo. The boys are getting so big. I ti hard to believe that D will have a birthday soon as will S.

Little Bug decided that there were too many kids in his pool and he wanted out - it was a bit overwhelming for him. This is me trying to convince him to get back and play with S and D.

I love this picture- Little Bug is such a beautiful, handsome boy.
Another great shot of him. D's mom got some wonderful shots of Little Bug.
Opening presents. Little Bug was not into the presents while they were wrapped, but once he saw them, he was all over them. Again, he was overwhelmed with the presents and I think he did not understand that he had to open the presents, look at them and then move on to the next present- he wanted to play with the toys.
This book has big eyes that move around on the front and back- he thought it was cool. So far I have had to read the book to him 5 times tonight, just so he can shake the book to make the eyes move.

He was not going for Momma reading him the cards- so we skipped them at a certain point and moved directly to the presents. I have all the cards saved for him and I will be writing the thank you notes this week.Mam and Pap gave him a drum (actually, it was bought for Christmas last year, before we realized that he would not be home for Christmas. Mam saved it all this time). I specially requested this gift for him and he loves it. We played with yesterday and tonight. When he opened it, it was the hit with the other kids. I guess they all like to make noise.
Little Bug is overwhelmed and tired, but the rest of the kids are going strong.

It was a good day. Overwhelming for Little Bug, emotional for me, but it was a joy to celebrate Little Bug's birthday with him after waiting for so many months for him to come home.

Love to you,

Momma Bug

Edited: I really don't know why this is not posting right away