One year ago (Thursday)

One year ago on Thursday, Bug and I had our embassy appointment. It was the only day during the trip that Mireya and Susi were not with us through the day. I don't think Bug knew what to do without them.







Our embassy appointment was in the morning and at noon we left for an afternoon visit to Antigua with 4 other families.

This is the confused face I saw on our trip to Antigua- I think Bug was either remembering the trip in Dec 2006 or was wondering where his family was.










Our little family, Mam, Bug and Momma- Bug is still looking for the family he was losing.









Carlos, Mireya, Nigua, Susi and Karla came to dinner. It was unfortunately the last time Bug would see Popi.

I can only imagine what emotions were going on in Popi Carlos, I can not imagine how hard this was for him, for Mireya and for the girls. I do know that there are not enough words to express to them how much their love for Bug is appreciated and how much gratitude I owe them for the love they gave Bug.




They had a great time playing, it was so good to see that Bug smiles and laughs.






I know these posts the last few weeks have been introspective and have brought back lots of emotions from that time. I know that Bug and I were meant to be a family, I know I prayed throughout the process for Bug to have a strong male role model in his life (Popi Carlos), I know that I would walk this path again even knowing all I know now. I know that Bug suffered a loss, that Mireya, Carlos and the girls suffered a loss, and can not ignore the price adoption takes on us all.

But I know this, Bug is my son and I love him more then I ever could imagine. He is the reason I get up, the reason I fall asleep, he is the life I waited for, prayed for, begged for. One day, I will watch him walk out my door, a young man off to find his way in the world. I hope that by honoring those who loved him first and encouraging him to love them and know them, that we all will be the support he needs to be the best man he can be- to be secure in his past so he can face the future.

Bug is my precious gift, so priceless, so perfect, so wonderful.

Love to you,
Momma