Through the wait for Bug I was so sad and so upset at what we were missing as a family, it hurt. But tonight, I was punched in the stomach (as a metaphor) for what this process costs our kids.
Bug and I were having cuddle time on the couch- he wanted to watch Backyardiagans and when that ended, he asked to watch Go Diego Go. I picked an episode on the on demand channel and we proceed to watch Diego rescue the Chinchilla (spelling?). Toward the end, Diego starts talking about Momi and Popi Chinchilla and that was went Bug lost it. He looked at me and very quietly and sadily said "Popi, where is Popi". He continued to be sad and upset that the chinchilla was looking for her Popi. He started crying and asking for Popi- his foster father.
10 months home and we still have the effects of a long process to work through. I hurt for my bug and the fact that I can not fix his pain of losing his foster family, I can't take this away from him or dull the pain- time will do that eventually- probably years from now.
But, I am left to deal with a 2.5 year old who can not express his emotions and only knows that he misses someone who loves him dearly. How do I help Bug through this? We talked about him missing Popi and Momi, we tried to call them- phone was not working, I told him it was OK to be sad and momma was sad for him. I held him, I loved on him, I did everything I could and I feel like I accomplished nothing in helping him through this.
Why does this have to hurt the littlest ones, why does it continue to hurt- suddenly sneaking up and jumping out? I hurt for my bug and what he is going through. Why, why, why do the babies have to go through this?
I will post pictures of our weekend tomorrow- we had a fun time.
Love to you,
Deb AKA Momma Bug
Monday, March 17, 2008
Wounds- ripped open and hurting
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4 comments:
Oh poor Bug! I feel sad for him and his Popi too. I don't know what to do for him, except just be there when he needs you. I think he probably appreciated having you around last night, even if he can't express it. Good luck, I hope he feels better today.
Awww...poor little bug !! But it sounds like you are doing the right thing by letting him grieve.
I'm so sorry. It is a huge emotional price on these precious children and I pray for continued strength as you both work thru this. I'm sure he was greatly comforted with ou just being there and letting him grieve.
(((HUGS))) and many prayers for you.
I understand what he must be going on, even as I have the pain of having lost so much love and strange ... is the son that man is not God gave me ..I love you "yoshi"
Popi Carlos
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