I realize I said previously that I was not going to post the results of the search, but I can post generalities - more so becuase I need to continuing process info.
The search was conducted and came back inconclusive- no contact was made with Little Bug's birth mother-although I now have pictures of the area she is from and some extended family.
The searcher left her card with the extended family in the hopes that one day the birth mother will return and she will then make contact with the searcher. At that time, the photos and letter I wrote will be given to her.
So none of my questions were answered, in fact, I now have even more- but I tried.
I was prepared for there to be no contact with the birth mother given the distance from Guatemala City to where she is from- I felt it very unlikely that she had returned there as the lawyer indicated at our homecoming trip. But, I was very unprepared for the additional questions that the search raised. Another untruth came out- something that would have been a show stopper had I known it at the beginning of this process. And I guess that is what I am trying to process. I love my Little Bug, I can't imagine life without him, but now there this information that I am carrying and I know that had I known it at the beginning, Little Bug would not have been m son. What does that say about me?
I have no idea what to do with this information, personally I would like to bury it somewhere and never think about it again. But, it is part of who he is and where he comes from. So what do I do? I know what all the classes say- never surprise your children with information- they should always know their story- but this is something that not pleasant, not easily explained.
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